I have always wanted to do more international traveling. Having a family of eight mostly limited us to road trips before our children began to grow up and move out. Stephanie and I had gone to the Olympics in Rio for our 20^th anniversary. I conned her into going to the Yucatan with me to tour some Mayan ruins to bring in the New Year in 2023. That only whet my appetite. I was ready for more travel. Most of my friends are empty nesters, now, but I will not be for another seven years. I don’t want to wait that long. To be honest, though, Stephanie just doesn’t like being away from home as much as I do.

I had noticed that Southwest had occasional flights to San Jose, Costa Rica. I had never been to Costa Rica, but I had heard that it was a pleasant, safe place that welcomed foreign tourists. It seemed like the perfect way to ease into expanding our travel boundaries. There was a window of time just after Thanksgiving ideally suited to making that trip. I would be done with cotton harvest. Basketball would not really be in full swing. We would not miss any major holidays. The big girls could help us with watching kids for a few days while we were gone. In fact, several of those days the kids would be out of school anyway and could visit their older siblings. I had enough Southwest miles that the airfare would be free.

I began suggesting the idea to Stephanie. She expressed that she liked the idea in theory, but I could not get her to commit. Weeks went by, then months. I mentioned that we would have to either book the trip or not. She asked how long we would be gone. I told her I thought we could easily spend a couple of weeks in Costa Rica. She suggested perhaps we should go for four or five days. I attempted to make the case that even a five day trip would limit us to just three days to explore Costa Rica. Two would be used in getting there and back. She didn’t know what would happen to the animals. I told her how it might be arranged. She wasn’t sure. I told her I would take care of it. She told me she wasn’t sure we could leave the kids that long. I mentioned that we had done it before. I offered examples of how it could be done. I told her to leave it to me. Nothing I said would convince her.

I decided to try a different tack. Of course, I wanted Stephanie to go. If she just wasn’t comfortable making the trip, though, I still wanted to go.

“If you are not comfortable going, would you mind if I went?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’d rather you go with me.”

“I just don’t know how it would work.”

“Trust me, it will work out. Leave it to me. I am planning the trip, arranging for things to be taken care of while we are gone is just part of that. Enjoy the trip and let me worry about it.”

I don’t know of she didn’t trust me to take care of those things, or if she was just looking for reasons not to commit to going – or commit to allow me to go. I didn’t know what to do. I did not believe at the time she was intentionally trying to do this – and I don’t believe it now – but I knew if I didn’t force the issue somehow, she was just going to run the clock out on me and the trip would never happen. People do this all the time. They don’t do it out of ill intent. They just allow indecision to prevent them from committing to something until the passage of time makes the issue moot. After a while, it is just “overcome by events.” We think we might like to do this or that in life, but for whatever reason, we delay committing to it until father time has removed it as an option.

I don’t know if my next move was the correct decision or not. I don’t think it was my finest hour as a husband. I forced the issue. I booked my tickets. I told Stephanie I had tickets, and that I was going to Costa Rica. I really hoped she would go, but if she didn’t I was going. I booked the trip for a week and a half, immediately following Thanksgiving. I would not miss any major holidays – consequently, she would not either if she chose to come. I again reassured her that I would make all of the family and livestock arrangements. I think this angered her a bit, understandably. It did force a decision. If it turned into an untenable issue, all I had invested at that point was airline miles.

A couple more weeks went buy, but eventually Stephanie told me to book her tickets. By all accounts, she had a great time. We had a great time. I do not recommend that technique, however. Stephanie still does not like to be gone as much as I do. She still stresses more than I do about what will happen while we are gone. But… she is more willing to come with me on more adventurous trips now. We have made our peace with going our separate ways on occasion. She comes along on the portions of our trips she feels comfortable with, and seems OK with me otherwise traveling on my own or with some of the kids.

It was Stephanie who suggested we make the “men’s trip” to Machu Picchu, so I went with Preston, Andrew, and my dad. Stephanie and Kimberly came along on the circumnavigation trip to Canada, Scotland, England, France, and the Netherlands, before bidding Caleb and me farewell to complete our trip around the world. Although I jokingly point out that the girls joined us only for the “expensive countries,” I am infinitely grateful that she blessed me going on that trip of a lifetime. As always, I would rather have shared it with her. But it is better to experience things alone than not to experience them. What a wonderful testimony to love and trust for your loved one to say, “That’s OK, honey, that’s not my thing, but go have a good time.”

In that sense, our Costa Rica trip was a watershed moment. It resolved many things about how we would deal with conflicting feelings about travel and the effects of travel on our family. It set the tone for more comfortable conversations about later trips. It clarified for Stephanie what she would be comfortable doing herself, and what she would be comfortable letting me do. So, even if it wasn’t the most loving way for a husband to force resolution of an issue, it worked out in the long run. It was also an amazingly fun trip. So, all’s well that ends well.

Costa Rica has Pacific and Caribbean coasts, and a highland interior with cloud forests, volcanoes, and different kinds of wildlife than you see at the lower elevations. I wanted to see all of these things. We could not have seen all of that in three days. As it turned out, we could not see all of it in nine, either. I made the calculated decision early on to go to the Pacific coast and skip the Caribbean. As far as I could tell, there wasn’t anything on the Caribbean side you could not also do on the Pacific coast. The opposite wasn’t necessarily true. Most of the fishing was on the Pacific side, as was the surfing, and other things. Both sides had beaches. I had never been deep sea fishing, but had always wanted to go. We didn’t get around to it, but I wanted the option. I knew I did not want to miss the highland cloud forests, either. I would have liked to have seen the volcanoes, too, and we saw them in the distance. We never got around to relaxing in the lava heated jacuzzis.

We went to church in San Jose and met some great friends there. We hit Quepos, on the southern Pacific coast, then headed up to Guanacaste. Many American tourists go to Guanacaste for the all inclusive resort experience. We crossed into Nicaragua, and had some unexpected adventures there. We then ascended to the highlands to spend a couple of days in the cool air observing flora and fauna. We joined our church friends for a farewell dinner, and then flew back to Texas.

The trip may have had its beginnings in my less-than-stellar behavior, but it produced some wonderful memories and set the stage for a year in which I was able to visit 31 countries, 27 of them new to me. I was gone 151 days on five trips between Thanksgiving of 2023 and 2024. None of that would have been possible without Stephanie understanding and tolerating my eccentricities. I will forever be grateful to her for this wonderful gift she has given me.